Mommy confessions #2: I can’t look in the mirror

20161230_070024The most embarrassing post I’ve ever written.

Mommy confession #2: I hate my postpartum body.

Last summer I was as pregnant as can be flaunting an itsy bitsy black bikini at the pool. I remember the day Joe bought it for me and boy I couldn’t wait to put it on. Proud as ever of my 8 months very pregnant baby bump and the bodacious body that came along with it, I felt amazing and gorgeous and I knew I glowed and I couldn’t wait to flaunt my new bikini ready body. And I did. And people stared. And I didn’t care because I was loving my skin and the beauty behind growing life within me. With my white pool dress and my movie star glasses I wobbled onto that pool deck like it was a fashion week runway. My confidence was at an all time high. And I took great pleasure in it.

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Baby Update: Breastfed Babies aren’t light weight

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    This was #BabyDom ‘s reaction after finding out he is a whopping 12 lbs 9oz.😁😁😁 Our little guy is only 7 weeks old and already proving that exclusively #breastfed babies aren’t light weight.  

 

 

 

 

 

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The fifth human: Happy 37 weeks

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I’m not worried about the pain. I’m not worried about the added responsibility. I’m not even worried about the sleepless nights.

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Funny Pregnancy Thoughts

August 20 2016

Right now, there are people trying to perform the perfect front pike, surface arch, and ballet leg double in order to win a gold medal.

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On Raising Children: My daughter boxes

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Look at that face. That determination to get back into her rhythm AFTER she pulls her hair out of her face.

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What would your daughter do?

LADIES WE NEED TO TALK!

******* EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ***********A BIT RAW ******EVERY 2 1/2 MINUTES A SEXUAL ASSAULT HAPPENS.

What would you do?

Better yet, WHAT WOULD YOUR DAUGHTER DO?

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Does it snow in Africa?

May 14, 2013 at 8:27pm · New York ·

“Does it snow in Africa? Does it snow on the Moon? How do you know? Can you name all the continents? At what degrees does water freeze? Can you help me find this other sock, it’s my favorite pair. Do you know which way this piece moves? The directions on this key chain craft doesn’t make sense. If I am bleeding through my eye balls, am I going die? Why does he live outside? Where did the sun come from? What happens when we die? How many seconds are there in 1 billion years? Why do we fart?”

I love being a parent. I really do… But can someone please tell me WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY didn’t anyone mention that I had to be a walking encyclopedia, referee, all games rules knower, explorer, inventor, fake jewelry designer, expert card maker, science project all do-er, goodnight song singer, broken thing fixer, rapper, chef, maid, outfit matcher, nail trimmer, hair inspector, foot smeller, event organizer, appointment setter, confirmer and follow-up-er, plant grower, life philosophy explainer, astronomer, doctor, healer, gossip explainer, sticky note supplier, bully ass kicker, watch woman – day and night, tissue handler, car pooler, sock finder, hair tie finder, cap finder, how things work explainer, why things don’t work explainer, nerf gun expert, battery size expert, lego expert, hot wheels expert, playdoh picker, measuring the size of a kids foot by eye apprentice, measuring the size of a kids clothes by eye without the kid being present master, super hero power knower, monster hugh dolls name knower, food label reader, cleaning supply label reader, bad smell sniffer and culprit locator…..

I think I might be forgetting a few things….

Sheesh I could have at least taken a class or two if someone would have kindly given me a heads up!!!