The fifth human: Happy 37 weeks

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I’m not worried about the pain. I’m not worried about the added responsibility. I’m not even worried about the sleepless nights.

I think I worry the most about whether or not I am good enough for you. If I can protect you. If I can teach you everything you need to learn in order to successfully navigate this chaotic and unpredictable world. You see my Baby Boy, before I knew of you, you weren’t even a thought in my mind. Our lifestyles had no room for you. We were so busy selfishly immersed in our own things, a baby was no where near our mapped out, fully scheduled, and meticulously planned lives. In fact even a discussion of a baby threw me off. But from the moment I learned of you, You became ALL THAT I WANTED. You were all that I hoped for. And suddenly you became all that I needed! I can lay still and feel your dreams. I can almost hear your cry. I can see your little body. But it’s your eyes that overwhelm me with that sense of fear. Becaue it’s in your eyes that I will see all the questions, all the wonder, all the hopes, and all your dreams. And I can only I hope I will be all that you dreamed of. It is utterly terrifying to know that it’s my job to help you answer those questions and help you manifest your visions. But I am wildly excited for all that is to come with you joining our lives. And as crazy as it still seems to me, you are EXACTLY what we all needed right now. 

Happy 37 weeks my little baby boy. I cant wait to meet you.

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